The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Randomize
