wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
