Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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