Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize