need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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