I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
