so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
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Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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