Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
