my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
