The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
