Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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