Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
