and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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