but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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