shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
