so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No subtext here. People are naked.
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Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
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Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.