Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.

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  (770): I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass. http://tfl.nu/0fum
  Replies (48) Good night (1103) Bad night (3167)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm jealous

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My throat feels like a candle.

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  (270): T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English. (1-270): I'm jealous (270): My throat feels like a candle. http://tfl.nu/vpw9
  Replies (31) Good night (7839) Bad night (1015)
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  (310): View more from California

  I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't

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  (310): I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't http://tfl.nu/g41b
  Replies (13) Good night (2899) Bad night (1266)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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  (908): it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend http://tfl.nu/ha54
  Replies (6) Good night (3100) Bad night (746)
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  (415): View more from California

  All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk

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  (415): All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk http://tfl.nu/vf88
  Replies (2) Good night (1980) Bad night (1306)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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  (434): A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!! http://tfl.nu/y0d6
  Replies (4) Good night (2379) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.

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  (412): Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out. http://tfl.nu/chur
  Replies (10) Good night (4299) Bad night (1284)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.

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  (703): I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful. http://tfl.nu/9vwb
  Replies (1) Good night (1171) Bad night (905)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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  (908): I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon. http://tfl.nu/vwke
  Replies (13) Good night (1912) Bad night (623)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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  (970): A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is. http://tfl.nu/20fb
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (681)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha

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  (774): My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha http://tfl.nu/naia
  Replies (16) Good night (673) Bad night (2148)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive

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  (256): Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive http://tfl.nu/bi4t
  Replies (3) Good night (763) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.

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  (716): Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped. http://tfl.nu/yje2
  Replies (3) Good night (440) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange

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  (417): Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange http://tfl.nu/684a
  Replies (5) Good night (619) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real

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  (519): Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real http://tfl.nu/w95v
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (206)

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