JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something