i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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