i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
