I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
