You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize