Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
