how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just pee around me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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