You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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