think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
