after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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