The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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