Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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