a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And my parents said I crawled through the house
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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