Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
