Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
