Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
