After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
