I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
there is glitter all over my balls
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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