I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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