wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize