you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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