what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
