I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
