My underwear smells like fireworks.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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