you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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