I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
