i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize