that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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