I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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