I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
