Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
