I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
