dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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