yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
