he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
