I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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