I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
