Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
