dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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