Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
