ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
