I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
