ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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