Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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