I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I sprained my soul last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
