when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
