He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
