So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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