think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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