I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
How naked do you want me to be?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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