Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
