Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
