Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize