Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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