I'm so fucking centered right now
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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