I wanna bring you to show and tell
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
NoShamevember. You game?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
